Just For Fun

3 joys:
-mornings with the windows open in my house
-the sound of crickets on a summer night
-Dreamsicles

3 fears:
-being alone
-not being able to have kids
-snakes, mice, or spiders

3 goals:
-run a half or full marathon
-get out of debt
-make it to the temple

3 current obsessions:
-blogging
-everyday food magazine
-jeans

3 random surprising facts about me:
-I painted my name on my dad's truck with fingernail polish when I was little (and blamed it on the neighbor)
-I like to do laundry
-I am getting wrinkles (Wait...I'm 31, I guess this isn't a surprise then.)

I Tag: anyone who has nothing better to post...

Memorial Day Branding

Ever since I was first introduced to the Swan family activities three years ago, I've learned to look forward to Memorial Day. Traditionally, their entire family--grandkids and all--goes on a big camping trip over that weekend near their old family cattle ranch. But due to the whining of certain family members--who shall remain nameless for their own protection--the camping trip has been put on hold for the past two years and they have started branded their calves over the holiday instead. (Okay...the cancelled camping may have had something to do with the weather too...) But it's all good because branding is always a fun occasion as well. Did I just say fun?! Perhaps I should clarify...it is usually fun to watch the following things:

1. John Swan (aka Pack Mule) haul everything out, get things set up, and to rig everything that breaks with a piece of twine and his yellow knife.

2. Vinnie (Double D) Collins stoke the fire with anything and everything in reach that will produce a flame.

3. Marlene (wife of a rancher) shudder in terror at the fact that her husband, daughter, and sons (including in-laws) are kneeling on the calves and possibly "hurting" them while they are being vaccinated, castrated, and branded.

4. Colton cussing at the cows and calves like it might really change their behavior and stubborn stupidity.

5. Heather and E'lise clicking away on the cameras with the same tenacity that the actual paparazzi possesses.

6. Buckaroo Biff get all chinked up and claiming that he has to "do all the work 'round here."

7. The ensuing rodeo that occurs because they all rope calves on half-broke horses.

But last year was NO fun at all. In order to brand we had to herd the cows & calves into the arena so we could separate them into calves and mommies. Well, the Swan's have this RIDICULOUS horse named Utah Red who is the absolute dumbest horse alive. Needless to say, he broke my foot by kicking me while I was riding another horse during the herding process last year. Absolutely mortifying. No one believed me when I said that I thought my foot was broken because I could still walk on it. I heard at least three times--"you gotta get back on the horse Melissa." Wrong. I hadn't been on a horse since--until Friday night. And that's when Colton convinced me that I should try roping this year. Now I have never roped ANYTHING in my life. I've taken my turn trying to head the Fast Lane with my little brother, STANDING ON THE GROUND, but it is not the same as an attempt from horseback. But Colton gave me a crash course on Friday night and I roped some sage brush and hauled around a railroad tie for about 45 minutes in preparation for Saturday morning. This in itself was a huge accomplishment for me because I vowed I would never get on a Swan horse again.

Saturday morning came and after the usual later than planned departure, we set out for the Shoshone Unit (John's nickname for the ranch) to get things situated and set up. Now, I was nervous to go out and herd the cattle into the arena after last year's experience but because Jason Slack is such a good sport, I had to be too. So far, so good.

Now I had dreamt all night along about the things Colton told me. Keep my elbow up. Bring that rope in and around. Keep an overhand grip when I pull my slack. Dally and turn. Face my horse. Ride forward & pick up my coils. Then back up and get rid of any slack. So you can imagine my disappointment when I was assigned to cut and spray. Now ordinarily, I would've been elated for this job because it's a pretty big deal. But not this time, I wanted to try to rope. But Colton was looking out for me and when we were about 3/4 of the way done, he told me to go get on Macho and come out and try. Oh and try, try, try I did. I don't even know how many loops I threw, but I somehow managed to rope two calves. (One of Colton's famous quotes comes to mind: "Even a blind squirrel can find a nut every now and then.") This is one of the most exhilarating experiences I have ever had--because I am as city slicker as they get when it comes time to riding a horse and twirling a rope at the same time. And now I'm addicted. And I can see why Colton wants to spend five hours a night, three times a week throwing a stupid rope at some running animal. And I can see why he gets so ticked when he misses!

So chalk another great weekend up to the Swan family...thanks guys!

Slow down that bandwagon!

It seems like every person I know is doing some sort of training for a 5k, a triathlon, or a half or full marathon. Here are a few of the obvious reasons that people do these things:

1. They feel the need to burn a lot of calories.

2. They want to lead a healthy lifestyle.

Okay, okay...So I can't really name a few. I can actually only name two. And for the life of me, I can't figure out why anyone in their right mind would be willing to torture themselves by running. Because that's what it is to me--TORTURE. And I'm talking the serious kind of torture that they train people in the CIA to do to terrorists. Perhaps this is because of my OCD--I count every step that I take when I'm running. Or because I'm not fast. I can, in fact, walk faster than I run. Or because I don't have any sort of endurance. Or because my mechanics suck. Or because it takes a good two miles for my body to even warm up and by that time, stick a fork in me, because I'm done. Or because it's just plain boring and I HATE IT!!!

Now I've heard people say that they enjoy it. (Oh really? How long does it take to get to that point?) I've heard people say that it can be addicting. (Now then, it must be a lot like smoking cigarettes or drinking alcohol or doing drugs--which means IT'S BAD FOR YOU.) Steph, for instance, admits that she likes it so much that she runs sometimes twice a day! What?! Twice a week is pushing it for me! But because I hate running, I have developed a deep admiration for the people who do it regularly. I envy Steph and her ability to do this each and every day (and sometimes twice) with a smile on her face. I admire the people who say they look forward to their run each day and that the day just doesn't seem right when they miss it and those who get up and go at five in the morning (April) so they can squeeze their run in before they have to go off to work or to take care of their kids. I have respect for the people who undertake this training despite being pregnant (Mindy). But why I ask you? Why? How can you guys do this and actually enjoy it and look forward to it?

Maybe I got started on the wrong foot. Back in the good ol' 6th grade, everyone who signed up for the Fun Run got out of school for the afternoon. Not knowing any better, I signed up along with my friends and we all boarded the bus that took us to a back dirt road near Creamy Hollow. We all got off the bus and waited for Mr. Farnsworth to yell "go" and off we went. Now this Fun Run was NOT fun to me. I hated every second of it, but I was duped into it by the attraction and luring of the words "GET OUT OF SCHOOL". But when all was said and done, I would have rather stayed in class. So maybe I owe my hatred of running to the dirt roads and the huge hill that I had to face in my first (and last) Fun Run. I still get sick to my stomach when I remember the entire PJH student body lined up in our white t's and red shorts. Yuck. I don't know if this is why there is no fun in run with me, but it can't be genetics--my mom loved to run! And my dad loved it too--1000 stair laps around the PHS gymnasium for missing curfew because he was too in love with my mom to go home on time.

Regardless, you now have a small taste of my animosity towards running. And now you will know why, for me, completion of any race would be the biggest accomplishment of my life. So I'm jumping on the bandwagon--and I've started training for a marathon. This was my first week and I actually did the workout every day--without cheating--just as it's written in the program. And I still hated every second of it. But hopefully, I'll get to the Mindy-April-Steph phase where I love it and look forward to it each day! We'll see...

You CANNOT be serious.

(These pics are NOT of me!)

What are these disgusting pictures you ask? Well, have you ever heard of shingles? I had heard of them, I just didn't know anything about them. Well evidently, Shingles (herpes zoster) is a viral infection of the nerve roots. It causes pain and, obviously by the pictures above, a disgusting rash. Shingles is most common in older adults and people who have weak immune systems (WOW--I guess that's me) because of stress, injury, certain medicines, or other reasons.

What causes shingles? Shingles occurs when the virus that causes chickenpox starts up again in your body. After you get better from chickenpox, the virus "sleeps" (is dormant) in your nerve roots. In some people, it stays dormant forever. In others, the virus "wakes up" when disease, stress, or aging weakens the immune system. Nobody knows why this happens. But after the virus becomes active again, it can only cause shingles, not chickenpox.

The rash turns into clusters of blisters. The blisters fill with fluid and then crust over. It takes 2 to 4 weeks for the blisters to heal, and they may leave scars. Some people only get a mild rash, and some get a rash that spreads.

Now imagine the darkest, worst, most horrible place you could develop this rash. If you guessed the hiney, the rear, the buttocks, or the arse, you guessed correctly. Yes, gross. Now you can sympathize with me because of the horror I experienced when I arose Saturday morning to get in the shower and discovered this rash all over my right gluteous maximus. I started freaking out of course--my lymph nodes in my leg sockets were like golf balls too--and so I immediately marched myself over to the Instacare down the street from my house.

They took a "sample" and ran some tests (while Colton and his dad sat in the waiting room) in order to diagnose my shingles and then the worst part--the filling of the Rx. As I sat in the pharmacy at Smith's, anxiously awaiting my name to be called so I could get started on this treatment, I prayed that the pharmacist wouldn't look disapprovingly at me and think to himself "she's disgusting". You see, the pills that you have to take to rid yourself of shingles are called Valtrex. Ever heard of them? Let me refresh your memory...

Do you recall the commercials where the man looks into the camera with the most pleasant look possible on his face and calmly says, "Just because I have an outbreak of genital herpes doesn't mean my partner has to."--Then he proceeds to climb into his canoe with his true love who has somehow managed to remain unaffected by his herpes? Oh yes. You see where I am going with this. Valtrex is most popularly known as the genital herpes treatment & a little less known for the fact that it is also used to treat shingles.

Back to the pharmacy...They finally call my name and I try to sneak to the counter just as the clerk asks, "Are you familiar with Valtrex Melissa?" No. So he proceeds to shout, "I'll get the pharmacist to come talk to you about it. Dan!? Can you come talk to her? She's never used Valtrex before?" Humiliating. Humiliating. Humiliating.

But rest assured people--You can't catch shingles from someone else who has shingles. However, if you haven't had the chickenpox and you feel like touching my butt...don't. Because you could get chickenpox from my shingles.

Yes Master.

Friday was a beautiful day! And I'm not just referring to the weather. The sun was shining and I did get to skip out on work, but the best part was that it was for Colton's graduation. Yes, yes, you read correctly! Colton graduated from Weber State with his Master's degree in Education. It took him FOREVER (three years to be exact) but he finally did it! I'm so proud of him for accomplishing this with all of the obstacles that he has encountered--his job for one. It was really difficult for him to pay alot of attention to school when he was busy working 75+ hours a week, but he perservered and now it's over! Anyway, congrats Colton! And no, I'm not going to refer to you as Master Swan from now on--like I need one more reason to seem like your slave...Just kidding! I'm very proud of you, way to go!!