You Might Be a Utard

Forget rednecks; This is what Jeff Foxworthy had to say about Utahns!
-If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September to May, you might live in Utah.
-If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you might live in Utah.
-If you've worn shorts and a Parka at the same time, you might live in Utah.
-If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed the wrong number, you might live in Utah.
-If 'vacation' means going anywhere south of Salt Lake City for the weekend, you might live in Utah.
-If you measure distance in hours, you might live in Utah.
-If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you might live in Utah.
-If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' and back again in the same day, you might live in Utah.
-If you install security lights on your house and garage but leave both unlocked, you might live in Utah.
-If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you might live in Utah.
-If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you might live in Utah.
-If the speed limit on the highway is 75 mph -- you're going 80, and everyone is still passing you, you might live in Utah.
-If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you might live in Utah.
-If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction, you might live in Utah.
-If you find 10 degrees 'a little chilly', you might live in Utah.
-And finally, if you actually understand these jokes, you are definitely a Utard!